Will I ever learn haha

I spent more time pushing my brain throught creative block than actualy working on it.

The resulting fatigue, mixed with need to fight resulted in this.In the end I sort of did give up, but I still wanted to participate.

Total work time: 8 hours

I suffer from random inspiration attacks, makes me stop with one thing and begin the next D;

I'm busting my creative ass to come up with some industrial battle action music haha

and I promised myself that I wont rush this one like I usualy do so you gonna have to wait for a full version for a while.

You guys can already tell that I enjoy making tunes and if you stuck around for a long time you might also know that I sometimes dabble with photoshop and graphic design. 

Now the next ability I realy want is to be able to draw. I want to draw my own characters, I want to be able to tell a story or convey my feelings throught drawings and therefore I look up to people who can, like @deathink 

The desire never truly fades, but a lack of self esteem often pushed me back or discouraged me from actively trying to practice no matter how much I preped myself for the challenge (psychically) .  I visited a bookstore today, not as a visitor, but as a companion to my friend who realy likes reading. We share a lot of confidentality between each other, so she knows a lot about me and I about her. 

So while she promised that she'll be done quick (they never are) she pushed me infront of a shelf with a lot of motivational stuff and there was this yellow book. This book was about how to master any craft you want in 20 hours. Out of curiosity and because IT DID call out to my desires about drawing, I picked it up. But I didnt read anything other than the introduction for the reader by the author, because that part alone had everything I needed.

It made me realise that everytime I gave up going foward, it was not because I had low self confidence, it was the frustration caused by running into an obstacle, which at the time, I was unable to overcome ( drawing fingers, shapes, projecting angles) 

So if I try again and I will run into something I CANNOT DO LIKE DEATHINK DID, I will not back away this time, because this time I will remind myself that its just a feeling, that will fade, its natural to have it and if I realy want to get closer to the level of my idols, I have to keep working at it and I will identify and contain the frustration that would normally make me quit. With that I believe I can move foward.

So what about you? Got something you realy wanna learn, but you droped it because you felt like you don't meet the skillset?

My soul has been lost.

I bring you two versions. One with and one without vocals. 

With Vocals and Without Vocals 

Still here, Not much to show, with so much stuff to do IRL I mostly reserve my musical whims to the game I'm helping with. I'm still whistling my cat's anthem ya know, so I didn't give that up. I want to release one last submission for this year, thats how I seal the deal every year, so stay tuned haha.

here's what I'm currently busy with

Aside from secret projects, I'm working on a theme song for one of my cats. Yeah you are reading this right...

I have two cats, one of them can be seen on my profile page. The theme is for the younger one, who is much more adventureous and fearless than the ginger cat. You know how you have over 10 different nicknames for your favorite pet right? Well I gave one a heroic theme, which I somehow started and continued humming durich each and every encounter with this little catkatizer. Few days ago I told myself, goddamit, I am a musician, I can make that tune into a song or a theme! And so I did and am currently periodicaly working on it. If you are interested in this silly, personal crusade of mine, stay tuned or... just wait for me to upload the track, which will be as always, free for users and content creators on this site. The name of the glorious cat theme will be based on one of his nicknames, which is based of his real name... It will be known as Macukin!

Macek

His name was Elfire and I don't know what happened to him, but his legacy is rippin!

https://elfire.newgrounds.com/audio/

@hankngx created a swell poster for madness day, but that is not his only MD creation, I true fan of madness combat should give him a chance.

Check him out!

https://hankngx.newgrounds.com/